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The Essence of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

To simplify, Ellis also talks about the three main irrational beliefs:

1. "I must be outstandingly competent, or I am worthless."
2. "Others must treat me considerately, or they are absolutely rotten."
3. "The world should always give me happiness, or I will die."

The therapist uses his or her skills to argue against these irrational ideas in therapy, or, even better, leads the client to make the arguments. For example, the therapist may ask…

1. Is there any evidence for this belief?
2. What is the evidence against this belief?
3. What is the worst that can happen if you give up this belief?
4. And what is the best that can happen?

In addition to argument, the REBT therapist uses any other techniques that assist the client in changing their beliefs. They might use group therapy, use unconditional positive regard, provide risk-taking activities, assertiveness training, empathy training, perhaps using role playing techniques to do so, encourage self-management through behavior modification techniques, use systematic desensitization, and so on.

Unconditional self-acceptance

Ellis has come to emphasize more and more the importance of what he calls "unconditional self-acceptance." He says that, in REBT, no one is damned, no matter how awful their actions, and we should accept ourselves for what we are rather than for what we have achieved.

One approach he mentions is to convince the client of the intrinsic value of him or herself as a human being. Just being alive provides you with value.

He notes that most theories make a great deal out of self-esteem and ego-strength and similar concepts. We are naturally evaluating creatures, and that is fine. But we go from evaluating our traits and our actions to evaluating this vague holistic entity called "self." How can we do this? And what good does it do? Only harm, he believes.

There are, he says, legitimate reasons for promoting one’s self or ego: We want to stay alive and be healthy, we want to enjoy life, and so on. But there are far more ways in which promoting the self or ego does harm, as exemplified by these irrational beliefs:

I am special or I am damned.
I must be loved or cared for.
I must be immortal.
I am either good or bad.
I must prove myself.
I must have everything that I want.

He believes very strongly that self-evaluation leads to depression and repression, and avoidance of change. The best thing for human health is that we should stop evaluating ourselves altogether!

But perhaps this idea of a self or an ego is overdrawn. Ellis is quite skeptical about the existence of a "true" or "real" self, ala Horney or Rogers. He especially dislikes the idea that there is a conflict between a self promoted by actualization versus one promoted by society. In fact, he says, one’s nature and one’s society are more likely to be mutually supporting than antagonistic.

He certainly sees no evidence for a transpersonal self or soul. Buddhism, for example, does quite well without it! And he is skeptical about the altered states of consciousness mystical traditions and transpersonal psychology recommend. In fact, he sees these states as being more inauthentic than transcendent!

On the other hand, he sees his approach as coming out of the ancient Stoic tradition, and supported by such philosophers as Spinoza. He sees additional similarities in existentialism and existential psychology. Any approach that puts the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the individual and his or her beliefs is likely to have commonalities with Ellis’s REBT.

announcements « Our Choices Advancement League

OCAL: "recovery from mental illness" support consumers of mental health services, advocate for the improvement of area mental health services.

A touching story

Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My six-year-old grandson
asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good,

God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Nana

gets us ice cream for dessert and liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman
remark, "That’s what’s wrong with this country. Kids today don’t even know

how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is
God mad at me?"
As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was

certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked

at my grandson and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a
great prayer."

"Really?" my grandson asked. "Cross my heart," the man replied. Then, in a

theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started
this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream

is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal. My grandson
stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest
of my life.

He picked up his sundae and without a word, walked over and placed it in
front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you.

Shove it up your ass, you grouchy old bitch! "

The End

OCAL: "recovery from mental illness" support consumers of mental health services, advocate for the improvement of area mental health services.

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